It has been awhile. For this I most profusely apologize. For some reason, I can't seem to drum up any desire to post anything lately.
Started a new job. The most I can say about it is that it's a job. Just a way to earn money. I really can't say that I enjoy it, because that would most definitely be a lie.
I decided that if nothing is done or heard on the Korea front by the end of June, I'm just going to find a place to rent here. Not the most exciting idea, but I have to live, and not put my life on hold any longer. I need to get away from my parents' house. I need to have a place that is just mine. Well, and Loki's, of course.
It has been raining every day for the past three or four days here in Enid. This makes me happy, naturally. Today I opened the huge window in my bedroom, sat at my desk(my desk is right in front of my window. helps to have it there when I'm drawing or painting), and just gazed out upon the world. The rain made the whole scene green-tinted. It was quite picturesque, let me tell you. I mean, it was hard to ignore all the other houses, and my dad's truck, but I did my best. There's nothing like the smell of the air when it rains. The combination of moist earth and water makes the cool air something to be savored.
The State of My Union
I've been giving some thought lately to the state of things in my life.
When I graduated in December, I thought that I would be in Korea by now. Now, obviously, that has not happened. I guess things just fall through sometimes. I find it severely disappointing, but I suppose I can wait for a few more months until I find something else.
Until then, I can concentrate on making as much money as I possibly can. Sounds good, right? I can start paying off my bills, and put the rest in the bank. Probably the best thing I could do for myself.
As for the state of my relationships with people, well, those are complicated.
Things with my parents are probably getting tense. I feel like I'm invading their space. Conflicts happen. The plan was to live here for just a few months. But what was maybe four months has turned to seven, and that was definitely not in my plans. I hate imposing on them, and I also need my own place and my freedom.
Friendships are good, although I don't see said friends very much. This needs to change. We need to make plans to hang out more often. Even going to get coffee every now and then would be a welcome change.
Now a biggie: guys. Yeah, there is nothing new OR old on that front, I'm afraid. Now, in some ways, this is good. That way I can concentrate on work. It also won't lead to any awkward or hard good-byes in the months to come. But UGH. Come on. Once in awhile, a girl needs at least a hug. Maybe a kiss or two as well. :)
So as a recap, nothing has really gone according to plan in the past few months. However, new opportunities come up every day. Just have to look on the bright side and keep a optimistic attitude.
Too bad I'm a pessimist.
Sigh.
When I graduated in December, I thought that I would be in Korea by now. Now, obviously, that has not happened. I guess things just fall through sometimes. I find it severely disappointing, but I suppose I can wait for a few more months until I find something else.
Until then, I can concentrate on making as much money as I possibly can. Sounds good, right? I can start paying off my bills, and put the rest in the bank. Probably the best thing I could do for myself.
As for the state of my relationships with people, well, those are complicated.
Things with my parents are probably getting tense. I feel like I'm invading their space. Conflicts happen. The plan was to live here for just a few months. But what was maybe four months has turned to seven, and that was definitely not in my plans. I hate imposing on them, and I also need my own place and my freedom.
Friendships are good, although I don't see said friends very much. This needs to change. We need to make plans to hang out more often. Even going to get coffee every now and then would be a welcome change.
Now a biggie: guys. Yeah, there is nothing new OR old on that front, I'm afraid. Now, in some ways, this is good. That way I can concentrate on work. It also won't lead to any awkward or hard good-byes in the months to come. But UGH. Come on. Once in awhile, a girl needs at least a hug. Maybe a kiss or two as well. :)
So as a recap, nothing has really gone according to plan in the past few months. However, new opportunities come up every day. Just have to look on the bright side and keep a optimistic attitude.
Too bad I'm a pessimist.
Sigh.
Probably my favorite song right now. Something about this man's music just speaks to my soul. It's kind of bad though, because everytime I hear this song, I start crying a little.
Hope everyone had a great Valentine's Day.
To all of the couples, hope you got all the fun out of it you could with your significant other. ;)
To all the single people (myself included), hope you still had fun. No reason to be sad. My friend had something really great to say about it:
"...reminded at this time of year that while being in a relationship is fun and sweaty, being single requires no compromise or condoms. Valentine's Day for single people is the real Independence Day, baby!"
In Need of a Change
I finally got my diploma in today from the school. Had to pay 25 extra dollars to get it rush-shipped, but hopefully, it will be worth it.
I also moved all the furniture around in my room. I'm fully anticipating bruises to pop up all over my body. Damn you, wood furniture! Ugh.
I also moved all the furniture around in my room. I'm fully anticipating bruises to pop up all over my body. Damn you, wood furniture! Ugh.
Rupert Giles and His Amazing Ability to Banish My Boredom
So...absolutely nothing happening. I do believe I have the most boring life right now. Staying at home reading all day, everyday is lovely for awhile, but after several weeks, one can get a bit worn out of it. Put me to work, already! Gaw. I guess I'll just go watch some movies. Ooooh, idea! Going to watch Repo! The Genetic Opera, which is a great movie for all the Buffy fans, as it has Anthony Stewart Head (Giles) in it. Giles as a mass-murderer? Yummmm...
I'm Late on This, but it Will Be Ok....
My New Year's Resolutions:
1. Actually write on this thing at least once a week.
2. Finally make it to South Korea.
3. Eat way healthier.
4. Get in shape.
5. By managing 3 & 4, go down at least two or three sizes.
6. Bring Loki Ursa to Korea with me.
7. Learn to be even more independent.
8. Learn to get my projects done ahead of time- and not put them off until the last minute and read a book instead.
9. Be confident in my job.
10. Pay off my credit cards.
11. Pay off my student loans.
12. Travel.
13. Make wherever I end up living a comfortable home.
14. Start painting again (I miss it).
15. Learn to be happy with myself, and not constantly be searching for happiness in others.
1. Actually write on this thing at least once a week.
2. Finally make it to South Korea.
3. Eat way healthier.
4. Get in shape.
5. By managing 3 & 4, go down at least two or three sizes.
6. Bring Loki Ursa to Korea with me.
7. Learn to be even more independent.
8. Learn to get my projects done ahead of time- and not put them off until the last minute and read a book instead.
9. Be confident in my job.
10. Pay off my credit cards.
11. Pay off my student loans.
12. Travel.
13. Make wherever I end up living a comfortable home.
14. Start painting again (I miss it).
15. Learn to be happy with myself, and not constantly be searching for happiness in others.
Mmmm, So Good
Such a sad song...love me some Taeyang though. I'm so glad I could find this with some English subtitles. :)
Brains and Rain
So, I realize that the title of my blog might be a little misleading. It makes it sound as if there is just so incredibly much going on in my life. Now, this is true a lot of times. If there isn't a lot going on around me, it usually means there's a lot going on in my head. Heads hold many thoughts, you know. Or, at least mine does.
However, not much is really happening in my life right now. It's really just me graduating college and waiting around to see if this whole ROK thing actually pans out. I wish I knew if it was going to or not. If I'm going to be around for a lot longer, I really need to go out and get a job for a few months. Have to have a way to pay the bills. However, I don't really want to if I'm just going to leave in a month or two.
Ugh! So frustrated right now. I think I just need to hear something definite, you know? Some little scrap of solid information, at least?
However, not much is really happening in my life right now. It's really just me graduating college and waiting around to see if this whole ROK thing actually pans out. I wish I knew if it was going to or not. If I'm going to be around for a lot longer, I really need to go out and get a job for a few months. Have to have a way to pay the bills. However, I don't really want to if I'm just going to leave in a month or two.
Ugh! So frustrated right now. I think I just need to hear something definite, you know? Some little scrap of solid information, at least?
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My Baby
If I do end up going to Korea, this big girl is coming with me. I couldn't just leave her behind. I know it will be hard to be in a new country with a pet. I know there are things that I won't be able to do, but how do you abandon a face like that? Loki is pretty much the most important thing in my life. You don't leave your child behind.
All I Want for Christmas is a Nap
So, the holidays.....sigh. Am I the only one who would rather just spend the whole season curled up on the couch in front of a fire? The whole dealing with family thing is tiresome.
I know, I'm blessed to still have my family. Some people don't. However, family events are just way too demanding for me. I tend to drift toward a back room, or just anywhere I can be away.
Maybe if I spent most of each day napping, I could handle the holidays and their family-centric theme. I think that's the key to all of my life's problems. When someone annoys me or I can't handle something, it will be nap time. Sounds perfect.
The ROK Chronicles: Part I
It all started with a discussion between Charlet and I. When I got wind that her and Chad were thinking about going over to South Korea to teach, I had to get in on it.
I have known all my life that I want to travel. There is only one thing firm in my mind, and it's not a job. I just can't picture myself working a job. When people think of their futures, they see themselves in jobs, among other things. When I think of my future, all I see is myself travelling. I know, that not being a trust-fund baby, I need to work to survive. I expect it. And I want to work. I just don't have it in my mind.
So, when I heard what Charlet was doing, I thought, "this would be the perfect thing for me". I know that I'll have to work. I'll even have to work hard, and it still makes me excited. It makes me excited because while I'll be working, I'll be immersed in a culture that is nothing really like mine. I'll be away from Oklahoma, which is a huge goal of mine.
I have known all my life that I want to travel. There is only one thing firm in my mind, and it's not a job. I just can't picture myself working a job. When people think of their futures, they see themselves in jobs, among other things. When I think of my future, all I see is myself travelling. I know, that not being a trust-fund baby, I need to work to survive. I expect it. And I want to work. I just don't have it in my mind.
So, when I heard what Charlet was doing, I thought, "this would be the perfect thing for me". I know that I'll have to work. I'll even have to work hard, and it still makes me excited. It makes me excited because while I'll be working, I'll be immersed in a culture that is nothing really like mine. I'll be away from Oklahoma, which is a huge goal of mine.
Thoughts on how to begin
Deciding where to write my thoughts down was a huge question. To not write them down wasn't even an option. I desperately need the release that putting words down provides. Paper and pen in the traditional journal was attractive. Private. That really appeals to my nature. There are many things about myself that no one knows. I still might do that for my major problems. Keep secrets secret, that kind of thing.
In the end, though, I decided to try my hand at writing my thoughts down in a blog. If people want to keep up with me, then this way they can. Might be helpful, really.
In the end, though, I decided to try my hand at writing my thoughts down in a blog. If people want to keep up with me, then this way they can. Might be helpful, really.
